I didn’t know what to expect when I first started playing Yakuza 0, and I had one of one of the best gaming experiences ever. I heard good things about the franchise and knew it to be “kinda like GTA”. Boy, did they undersold it.
All this for a piece of dirt
We are introduced to Kazama Kiryu, a member of the Kazama family which is part of the Tojo Clan. He is a sex-positive, loyal, badass, and tough as nail yakuza who got caught in the middle of a hostile family takeover. We are also introduced to Goro Majima, who is kind of the same as Kiryu, loyal, badass and tough as nails, but more wild. Majima wants to join back in the Tojo Clan by any means necessary. I love these two. They go through such absurd and life-threatening situations because they are kind. These situations can be resolved so quickly by doing the wrong thing, but their hearts will not let them. Sure they sometimes result to violence, but violence is needed when someone steals a little boy’s video game or to protect a blind woman. They do it because it’s the right thing to do.
I thought the story was fine, entertaining, and enjoyable! Every character was fascinating, all had their own motives and internal conflicts that made them interesting. What I love the most is the catalyst of the story. All the heads of the families want this small piece of land at 10×10 square feet, in the middle of the city, to take over the Tojo Clan. What I like about it is how silly it is because they cause so much damage to the city, and to people’s lives for this land. Even the game acknowledges how dumb it is to fight over dirt. I’m used to the media where they get rid of a high position person to take over, not who can get this piece of dirt. And it is nice to see something different.
There’s a couple issues I have with the story. Narratively, it is fine, I had a grand time. What I had issues is getting from one scene to the next, and it’s through combat. Combat is such a pain in the bum, especially as Kiryu. It’s not fun, it’s more annoying than anything. The second issue is having to fight the same Yakuza boss over and over and over again. I think we fight a total of 4 times and his movesets doesn’t change at all. I was bored and tired of fighting him after the second time.
So much content
I beat the game, about to receive my progress report, waiting to see maybe 66% completion… 24%… I played for 50+ hours for 24% total completion. It makes me wonder how deep the business stories are. The business stories are where both Kiryu and Majima own business. For Kiryu it is buying property, upgrading them and using money to stop other billionaires from buying your properties. It’s not that great, very passive as you wait around and do other fun side or main quests in order to continue Kiryu’s business story. Interacting with the other property owners known as the 5 Billionaires are fun and unique. Each with their own silly stereotype that keeps things interesting. Majima on the other hand is basically a whole new game.
Goro Majima helps out a struggling cabaret club. (I still don’t know the difference between a cabaret club and a hostess club. I think they’re the same thing just differently named) He is very hands-on, hiring new girls by completing their quests, running as a manger, sitting clients with the appropriate girl, reading the hostess’ signals to determine their needs, managing the hostess stamina, dressing up the hostesses, leveling the hostesses up and give them the proper advice. and on top of that, has a really engaging story as you work to be the best cabaret club in the city. It’s insane how much fun and detailed this side game is. It hits that diner dash itch I’ve been craving for so long.
Those are just the 2 big side stories, there are a lot more random encounters that you can find. All of them are super unique and extremely silly. A little glimpse of what you can expect: helping a dominatrix gain her confidence as a dominatrix, beating up bullies who stole a boy’s game, and saving a simp from simping.
There’s also other games to play like Mahjong, shogi, dance battles and karaoke. I have never played an actual game of mahjong and shogi, so I had no clue what I was doing. The “how to play” taught me nothing since it’s all text with jargon that they don’t explain. Someone in my Twitch chat recommended a mahjong anime called Saki and I foolishly thought it’ll help me understand mahjong. But I eventually understood shogi. Karaoke was a blast and got to see the infamous Dame Da Ne scene. And the DDR minigame is hard but fun. My only issue with karaoke and dancing is the limitations of music. I want more!!
Combat, a difficult but fun mess
Where to even begin with the combat, let’s start with the fun elements. Majima has not the best, but definitely the most entertaining combat. He has, along with Kiryu but differently named, 3 battle styles: Thug, Breaker, and Slugger. After getting Breaker, I used nothing else until I got bored and wanted to switch it up or wanted to do more damage with Slugger. The reason is the nature of how enemies approach you. They come at you all at once and everything you got. There were many times where I would get in a stagger lock and can do nothing about it. I have to sit there and take the hits. Even blocking couldn’t save me because as soon as I wanted to counter I would immediately get hit. Switching style mid-fight was painful because of how slow it was. It needs to finish its animation before I can do anything. If it was removed, a way to cancel it or is faster, there would be no problem. The save and grace that kept me going was Breaker. This move style was quick, can hit multiple enemies and dealt good damage. And the best part was it can hit enemies on the ground. The other move styles, including Kiyru, I couldn’t find a way to fight on the ground effectively. It discouraged me enough that I wouldn’t use anything else. Meanwhile with Kiryu, I was in pain every time I had to fight with him. Every move felt slow, dealt no damage and hit only one person. It was a pain in the butt fighting a group of enemies and feeling powerless, even after upgrading I didn’t feel any real difference.
A heartfelt, sad goodbye
When I stopped streaming, turning my PS5 off all I felt was happiness. Happy that I got to play this amazing game, a top 5 game of all time in my opinion. I know I will see the boys again in the future, but playing Yakuza 0 who knows when. You see I am the type of person who goes on to the next game, the next challenge, the next adventure. It’s very rare that I will continue a game I’ve beaten or even come back to. Unless it has easy trophies to get. So, I’m sad, sad that I won’t see what the rest of the game has to offer. The hostesses minigames! My girls! Forever frozen in time, waiting for me. I hope sometime in the future I have time to go back and visit them and the boys. Like meeting up with old friends.
SeñorPolloTV 